Monday, 9 February 2009

nuRations: the multicultural menu of the day

Multiculturalism, so beloved by nuLabour that it has become one of the mantras of that discredited political faction, has now even insinuated its way into the ration packs of British troops serving on the frontline.
Plans have been on the back-burner for some months now to throw out the chocolate bars and corned beef hash of yesterday and to wheel in halaal, kosher, Sikh and Hindu fare in their place. These plans have now come to the boil and nuRations are about to be served.
Pork of course is racially tarnished, so no more bacon butties and bangers and mash. Instead nuRations will consist of badinjan muhassa, CTM, gefilte fish, hummus and kapusniak. And, ever conscious of the need to flaunt its Islington credentials, the MoD is also going to bring in muesli, dried fruit, nuts and berries, yoghurt and cereal bars.
In all there will be 20 updated menus plus a further six menus each for Sikhs, Hindus, Jews, Muslims, Janes, vegetarians, vegans and piscavores. The new multicultural (or should that be multi-climatic?) ration packs have been shortlisted by tasting panels made up of soldiers returning from the warzones and are now to undergo a further six month taster trial in the field in Afghanistan.

The Poachers of course are quite happy just with chicken heads.

One thing's certain though: the new menus are sure to be an improvement on the Goat Cuisine that gave Prince Harry the runs this time last year.

The Guardian: Military unveil latest weapon against the Taliban: chicken tikka massala and Oreos
The Mail: Prince Harry calls on Jamie Oliver to sort out Army's 'miserable' rations